


i know my value

by emmelinecarrow



Series: who we are vol. 1 (marvel character studies) [2]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 10:21:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11438850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmelinecarrow/pseuds/emmelinecarrow
Summary: She did not believe it for one minute. But she tried, because hope was what Steve Rogers had. Usually. She just needed him to have it that day. She was so sure that a person so good would not meet such an end. Ergo, when the line got cut off, whatever she rebuilt of her heart was shattered, again. He had saved the world from certain disaster, at the cost of his life. She laughed, after her tears stopped, because that was such an appropriate way for such a patriotic man to die.At that moment, however, Peggy was selfish. She wanted him to live for her. Alas, this was Margaret Elizabeth Carter. She would build herself back up.a Peggy Carter character study





	i know my value

Margaret Elizabeth "Peggy" Carter, founder of S.H.I.E.L.D. She was not always like that.

From a tender age, Peggy was taught that her sole purpose in life was to marry a good man and be a good wife. But before that, she had to be the perfect daughter. And she was anything but. She played rough with her brother, more often than she really should, pretending to be knights.

When she was a bit older, but none the wiser, she had snuck into a pub with Michael. His voice had deepened and his height increased twofold from when he was five. This allowed him to purchase beer, with money they had found in the garden, for him and Peggy. It was absolutely disgusting. But they are drank it all the same. Michael, having tried it with his friends before, had no problem handling the alcohol. Peggy, on the other hand, had to carried back home, drunk and red faced. Her parents were _furious_. Both of them were grounded.

During her studies at the St Martin-In-The-Fields High School for Girls, Peggy took a bet with herself. She snuck into her headmaster's home, attempting, and failing, to steal his wife's underwear and his most expensive bottle of brandy. Despite being humiliated by him in front of all the girls, they hailed her as a hero, a legend of the school.

(She got grounded, again.)

By some miracle (her mother's words), Peggy's rebellious behavior faded away with age. When she reached adulthood, war had started. She got a job as a code breaker, helping in the war effort by working in an environment that was expected of her. Every day, she went to work and broke whatever code that needed to be broken. When lunchtime came, she went with the other girls and gossiped. And then she was the topic of gossip. Peggy got engaged.

She had found love (in the form of a rather cute colleague). When she wore the ring that Fred Wells gave her to work the next day, everyone was envious (more like jealous). Fred was almost everything she had wished for in a husband. Almost. There was just something missing, but Peggy could not tell what, no matter how much she looked (she would know, one day, after realizing she loved a certain captain).

She was thoroughly excited about introducing Fred to Michael. So when Michael declared Fred unworthy of her, Peggy's heart broke. This was the first time she had ever experience heartbreak. Her heart broke a little more when Michael revealed he was the one who recommended her to be a field agent, the very recommendation she turned down.

Peggy blatantly ignored Michael's words and spared no effort in her upcoming wedding. All was changed when the news came. She did not know how her heart can still break, but it did.

Michael was the one who played with her. Michael was the one who believed in her. Michael was the one who knew her best. Michael was the one who cheered her on. Michael was the one who caught her when she fell. Michael was the one who shared her burden when it was _just too much_. Michael...

For a week after the news came, she pondered on Michael's last words to her. Peggy knew that the only other person who really, actually, deeply _knows_ her was Michael, not Fred. So she made the hard, but right, choice. She broke off the engagement with Fred, with nothing more than a few words carefully chosen, then written. Miss Carter became Agent Carter.

In a world whereby men ruled, female agents were rare and far apart. Agent Carter was almost always viewed as a hindrance, a tag along, a damned extra baggage that needed caring. But those who truly knew her, knew better.

When Peggy broke Abraham Erskine out of Johann Schmidt's headquarters, she had no idea what she had gotten herself into. She served under Colonel Chester Phillips in the Strategic Scientific Reserve, acting as an advisor to the American agency. There, however, she was viewed as redundant, yet necessary. It was wartime. They needed as many pairs of hands on board as possible.

Peggy first met Steven Grant Rogers when she oversaw the training of suitable candidates for Project Rebirth. Steve was different. Too kind, too nice, too _noble_ for this world. Although the choice was not hers to make, deep down Peggy knew that Steve was the candidate most suited for Project Rebirth.

Professionally, she admired his courage and nobility. He was willing to sacrifice everything to give back to America, even though she had nothing much to offer him.

Unprofessionally, she fell just that little bit in love with him during the car ride to the SSR's Brooklyn facility, cleverly hidden under an antique shop.

Maybe that was why she tried to stop the process when she heard his agonizing screams. Peggy did not know what to expect after the fateful procedure, but she definitely was not expecting a fully muscled, so much taller Steve Rogers.

Perhaps many think that she fell in love with Captain America, the epitome of hotness. Truth was, Peggy fell in love with Steve Rogers, the epitome of all things good.

She fell in love with his goodness, the way he threw himself over the faux grenade when everyone else ducked for their own safety. She fell in love with his love for his country, the way he was so passionate about enlisting in the army when so many others stayed safe at home. She fell in love with his kindness, the way he would not hesitate to help when others did not risk themselves for strangers.

They did not last long, but he was still the love of her life. Peggy never knew that she could feel more distraught, more heartbroken when Michael passed. She built herself back up, but was torn down when a specific plane crashed.

"I- I'll get Howard on the phone, he will know what to do."

She did not believe it for one minute. But she tried, because hope was what Steve Rogers had. Usually. She just needed him to have it that day. She was so sure that a person so good would not meet such an end. Ergo, when the line got cut off, whatever she rebuilt of her heart was shattered, again. He had saved the world from certain disaster, at the cost of his life. She laughed, after her tears stopped, because that was such an appropriate way for such a patriotic man to die.

At that moment, however, Peggy was selfish. She wanted him to live for her. Alas, this was Margaret Elizabeth Carter. She would build herself back up.

She still worked with the Dum Dum Dugan and Jim Morita for a while, having arrested General Werner Reinhardt at the last Hydra base. They found an unknown object and had a label place on it. The number, 084, unbeknownst to them would become the code for unidentified objects. The very same type of object would also kill one of the descendents of a Howling Commando.

After the war, she stayed with SSR. After the war, the gossip started. The men she worked with mocked her, underestimated her abilities. They were furious that a woman, a British no less, was working _with_ them, instead of _for_ them. They were furious because they shared the same title, the same wages, the same rights, as _her_. It was demoralising for  _them_.

Peggy rolled her eyes whenever she heard them speaking. _"They are just keeping her because she knew Captain America." "She's just Cap's old flame." "She made no contributions to the war effort, sorry, her only contribution was to satisfy the Captain's desires."_

Michael always told her not to listen to what others said about her. As long as she knew she was doing the right thing, or that she did her best. But sometimes, it became _too much_.

And then Howard Stark came back into her life. _And_ caused her to risk everything for him. So many things happened. Bad things. But it was all worth it.

Whitney Frost and Dottie were strong, beautiful women, like her, but they chose the wrong path, the wrong decisions. They caused her much trouble, but her advantages were not small, too.

Annoying at first, Edwin Jarvis became one of the only people she could trust. His loyalty to her and Howard was quite astonishing and impressive. Granted, Peggy assumed that he was just one of Howard's puppets. She could not be blamed for having that assumption. After all, Jarvis kept a secret that hit too close to home, from her, for his boss. Livid that Steve's blood was painted as a deadly weapon, she broke off her relationships with butler and inventor alike.

As predicted, Peggy eventually reopened her relationship with Jarvis. Sure, she was resourceful and independent, but some help from a friend would never hurt. Together, they tracked down, quite amusingly, Howard's past lovers.

She found a friend, like any non-agent would, in Angie Martinelli. Though her room mate did not know her full truth, they got along very well. A true friend indeed, Angie was someone outside of the agency that Peggy could rely on, and more importantly, trust.

Later on, she would also find companionship, in the male dominated world she reside in, in the form of Ana Jarvis and Agent Rose Roberts. Both tough and beautiful women, they not only understood her, but also provided her respite from the stress of her work.

Her relationship with fellow Jack Thompson was more complicated, for a lack of a better word. He seemed to be the one campaigning for her demise, yet Peggy saw a newer, better side of him in Russia. But after he claimed her victory, all was back to what it was.

Peggy's tragically short lived relationship with Jason Wilkes eventually caused her to open up her heart to Daniel Sousa. Complicated as it was, what with his moving to Los Angeles and engagement, and her _complications_ and eventually moving to Los Angeles.

When the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement Logistics Division was formed, mistakes were made. _Many_ mistakes were made. But as they say it, mistakes were the key to success. Peggy was still in a state of shock, even until her lucid states on her deathbed, whenever she thought of Howard, of all people, creating an agency to shield, pun unintended, this world from the much weirder world.

Good people were recruited, people like Hank Pym. So when they fell out, well, Peggy was definitely not in a good state of mind. She had almost lashed out at Sharon, her niece. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Sharon was still determined to join her agency.

She adored Sharon, treated her as her own daughter, in fact. So when Sharon decided to keep their lineage a secret, and despite understanding her concerns, Peggy was still a little upset. But she was old enough to make decisions for her own, so Peggy left her niece be.

As the years passed, she became aware of her own condition, and less aware of the world. Alzheimer's disease was common enough in the world, but Peggy had always assumed that she would die in a mission, honorably. Never once did she imagine her death to be in a nursing home, painless. Blackness and nothingness engulfed her as her last thought lingered.

I know my value.


End file.
